I see. ... I'm sorry. But that makes sense... I don't like secrets either, to be honest. I feel like I'm always left out of them, wondering what I'm missing...
( ... )
It was Akane-kun's blood. He survived, but... he was impaled by a giant centipede. I'd been beneath him at the time, and then I later used part of my clothes to make bandages for him.
Mmm. I like having the most control I can over a situation. Because being a leader is the best thing you can be, if your priority is safety.
[...most of the time]
A giant---yuck. I hate bugs. [he shivers. Eugh, he remembers that time Gonta tried to 'educate him' on 'how great bugs are'...disgusting. He shakes his head.] Mmm. So there's no malice there~
Did you know, gods have terrible tricks? I wouldn't stop trying to flee. So they made me drink something strange and everything in my head and heart felt... twisted.
Of course they didn't, that'd make them liable. Situations like that are...very honed in on exacts. Did I tell her to do that? If the answer can be interpreted as 'no' in any way, they'll gun for it. They'll take every opportunity they can to make you assume you have every reason to be guilty...
And drill that in. Over and over. Because that's how disgusting people work.
Of course, that's humans. That's humans who could be held culpable. Deities...never dealt with those.
I can understand that. There's nothing that can take that pain away. Nothing short of lots of therapy, if you're lucky, and even then...coping isn't easy. Not words nor actions can erase trauma. [He sighs softly.] All you can do is fight through it. Assert that you know who you are, and no matter what happened, no one controls you but you.
From now on, in particular.
...You can feel free to ask me something, too. I know we're focusing in on you all of the sudden.
...Rantaro and I are what our world called 'Ultimates'. In the nation of Japan, certain children with remarkable amounts of talent were sought out to become what are known as 'Ultimates'. It's like it sounds: the best anyone is at what they do. Ultimate Artist, Ultimate Tennis Pro, Ultimate Astronaut, Ultimate Detective....my talent was Ultimate Supreme Leader. I didn't get to choose my title, or I probably would've selected something less...intimidating. But still. They gave that to me since I was capable of swaying others to my side. Making organizations, making plans, enacting them. A leader. As for Rantaro, he always claimed he couldn't remember his talent. So you'd have to ask him.
Anyway, within this group of elites, there was a girl who was inhuman in nature. Her name was Junko Enoshima. She loved the concept of despair more than anything - she had no desire for any positive emotions. She had success to the point where success was boring, and so only the greatest failure, the greatest despair could entertain her. So she threw the whole world into annihilation. She gathered a group of Ultimates, brainwashed them...and turned them into a terrorist sect known as Ultimate Despair.
Eventually this led to a worldwide war. My class was the last of the Ultimates remaining not brainwashed or killed, because a dead Ultimate was better than a despairing Ultimate, and risks weren't something people were willing to take anymore.
....So we were locked in an academy. Kept away from the world that wanted us as mass-murderers or dead. Me...and 15 others. It probably sounds unrealistic, but you've seen some pretty weird stuff so you're going to have to trust me when I say that that is the truth.
( he's right, it does sound unbelievable and her own experiences have saved him from true skepticism- but honestly... even without the terrorism?
she thinks his world must be very pitiful. an obsession with teen talent, and those children in turn being pigeonholed into that- what if a boxer wanted to be a teacher? what if a baseball player wanted to be a musician? it sounds like they couldn't.
and despair... )
What a hollow existence. I might feel pity for her, if not for everything she's done.
( ... but he mentioned a traitor. aoi turns to look at him. )
Right? [But she's caught on about...] ...Right, so. After we were placed into the school, we were supposed to be launched into space in something called the 'Gopher Project'. The hopeful 16 are preserved in space to make sure humanity had a bright future. It never actually got that far. Before we could be exiled from Earth, there was the revelation that one of our number had joined Ultimate Despair.
But we were already locked in. The traitor was already there. And they'd brought preparations. One of Enoshima's favorite methods of torture was one for her own entertainment. A 'battle royale' she called a 'killing game'. A robotic bear plushie named Monokuma would appear in some grandiose fashion, announce he was the new headmaster, and that a game was about to begin. The win condition was to discover the mastermind hidden amongst the students. The rest, though...
What she wanted was simple: commit a murder without being caught. Motives would be presented, and every time, someone would snap. They'd kill someone. Then we'd all have an informal 'class trial'. They'd be found out, but if they somehow tricked us...we'd all die in their place.
[He almost knicks himself with the knife when he smiles.] Lucky, lucky us that one of our classmates was the Ultimate Detective. Our hero...Shuichi Saihara. Contrasted with the villain who everyone seemed intent on hating...the Ultimate Supreme Leader.
( she listens quietly, growing more and more distraught with each word- it's a monstrous living hell she can't possibly imagine, all for one girl's amusement...
and then the implications hit her and her heart aches. )
They thought you were the one behind it, didn't they?
They needed someone to hate. Someone to fight against to see the truth. People learn through trust and through fear. They had trust - they had Shuichi, they had another boy - Kaito - who took such pride in being a hero...
I was the fear. I was the odd man out. The real mastermind wasn't going to present themselves. So they had me.
...
And I died for it. One of the girls eventually had enough. She killed me because she suspected me. And that was that.
[He shrugs softly.]
By that point, we'd gone from 16 to... [Shuichi, Kokichi, Kaito, Maki, Tsumugi, Kiibo, Himiko..] ...7, anyway. It was pretty grim no matter what.
[then, off-handedly]
Rantaro was the first to die, by the way. The first victim. So he doesn't know any of this.
But all that is why I reacted the way that I did with Sans. I'm used to being underhanded because no one else will be to get to the truth. I'm used to people seeing my actions as disgusting and prodding people I can't fully trust and that don't trust me. If there's anyone who knows how to get to the truth that way...it's me. I'm not proud of it. But that's how things are.
( 'they needed someone to hate'- she can... sort of see the logic there. but part of her also wants to slap him silly. another part wants to cry for him, loud and long-lasting.
all he did was draw attention away from their traitor and he died for it. )
[He wouldn't blame her for any of those reactions. Hell, he feels like that towards himself sometimes - the idiot who got himself killed because he couldn't tell the truth: I'm not the villain. And who would've believed him at that point? Certainly not Maki. She'd made up her mind.
So he had a sad story. He put the sandwich on the table in front of Aoi, and put one in front of his own seat as he took a seat.]
Anyways! That's also why this situation is great! I've got a second chance! A new lease here. So do you!
( aoi stares at the table, past anything- she barely notices when the food is placed. )
I was on a train, when I woke up in the church. The last train from the edge of the Far Shore to the heart of it. Had the ride lasted, I'd have lost my humanity.
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cw: impalement mention
( ... )
It was Akane-kun's blood. He survived, but... he was impaled by a giant centipede. I'd been beneath him at the time, and then I later used part of my clothes to make bandages for him.
no subject
[...most of the time]
A giant---yuck. I hate bugs. [he shivers. Eugh, he remembers that time Gonta tried to 'educate him' on 'how great bugs are'...disgusting. He shakes his head.] Mmm. So there's no malice there~
no subject
Did you know, gods have terrible tricks? I wouldn't stop trying to flee. So they made me drink something strange and everything in my head and heart felt... twisted.
( her voice is quiet. )
(cw: drug mention)
They drugged you.
[He pauses in making the sandwiches.]
I know, magic, blah blah, whatever--they drugged you.
no subject
no subject
And drill that in. Over and over. Because that's how disgusting people work.
Of course, that's humans. That's humans who could be held culpable. Deities...never dealt with those.
no subject
... I still feel terrible about it. I'm not sure I'll ever stop. It's only because Akane-kun isn't human anymore himself that he survived.
no subject
From now on, in particular.
...You can feel free to ask me something, too. I know we're focusing in on you all of the sudden.
no subject
( but she's absolutely taking the opportunity to move on. )
Why was your world facing an apocalypse?
(cw: terrorism mention)
...Rantaro and I are what our world called 'Ultimates'. In the nation of Japan, certain children with remarkable amounts of talent were sought out to become what are known as 'Ultimates'. It's like it sounds: the best anyone is at what they do. Ultimate Artist, Ultimate Tennis Pro, Ultimate Astronaut, Ultimate Detective....my talent was Ultimate Supreme Leader. I didn't get to choose my title, or I probably would've selected something less...intimidating. But still. They gave that to me since I was capable of swaying others to my side. Making organizations, making plans, enacting them. A leader. As for Rantaro, he always claimed he couldn't remember his talent. So you'd have to ask him.
Anyway, within this group of elites, there was a girl who was inhuman in nature. Her name was Junko Enoshima. She loved the concept of despair more than anything - she had no desire for any positive emotions. She had success to the point where success was boring, and so only the greatest failure, the greatest despair could entertain her. So she threw the whole world into annihilation. She gathered a group of Ultimates, brainwashed them...and turned them into a terrorist sect known as Ultimate Despair.
Eventually this led to a worldwide war. My class was the last of the Ultimates remaining not brainwashed or killed, because a dead Ultimate was better than a despairing Ultimate, and risks weren't something people were willing to take anymore.
....So we were locked in an academy. Kept away from the world that wanted us as mass-murderers or dead. Me...and 15 others. It probably sounds unrealistic, but you've seen some pretty weird stuff so you're going to have to trust me when I say that that is the truth.
Re: (cw: terrorism mention)
she thinks his world must be very pitiful. an obsession with teen talent, and those children in turn being pigeonholed into that- what if a boxer wanted to be a teacher? what if a baseball player wanted to be a musician? it sounds like they couldn't.
and despair... )
What a hollow existence. I might feel pity for her, if not for everything she's done.
( ... but he mentioned a traitor. aoi turns to look at him. )
no subject
But we were already locked in. The traitor was already there. And they'd brought preparations. One of Enoshima's favorite methods of torture was one for her own entertainment. A 'battle royale' she called a 'killing game'. A robotic bear plushie named Monokuma would appear in some grandiose fashion, announce he was the new headmaster, and that a game was about to begin. The win condition was to discover the mastermind hidden amongst the students. The rest, though...
What she wanted was simple: commit a murder without being caught. Motives would be presented, and every time, someone would snap. They'd kill someone. Then we'd all have an informal 'class trial'. They'd be found out, but if they somehow tricked us...we'd all die in their place.
[He almost knicks himself with the knife when he smiles.] Lucky, lucky us that one of our classmates was the Ultimate Detective. Our hero...Shuichi Saihara. Contrasted with the villain who everyone seemed intent on hating...the Ultimate Supreme Leader.
[but he wasn't the traitor.]
no subject
and then the implications hit her and her heart aches. )
They thought you were the one behind it, didn't they?
no subject
[so...yes.]
They needed someone to hate. Someone to fight against to see the truth. People learn through trust and through fear. They had trust - they had Shuichi, they had another boy - Kaito - who took such pride in being a hero...
I was the fear. I was the odd man out. The real mastermind wasn't going to present themselves. So they had me.
...
And I died for it. One of the girls eventually had enough. She killed me because she suspected me. And that was that.
[He shrugs softly.]
By that point, we'd gone from 16 to... [Shuichi, Kokichi, Kaito, Maki, Tsumugi, Kiibo, Himiko..] ...7, anyway. It was pretty grim no matter what.
[then, off-handedly]
Rantaro was the first to die, by the way. The first victim. So he doesn't know any of this.
But all that is why I reacted the way that I did with Sans. I'm used to being underhanded because no one else will be to get to the truth. I'm used to people seeing my actions as disgusting and prodding people I can't fully trust and that don't trust me. If there's anyone who knows how to get to the truth that way...it's me. I'm not proud of it. But that's how things are.
no subject
all he did was draw attention away from their traitor and he died for it. )
... I see.
no subject
So he had a sad story. He put the sandwich on the table in front of Aoi, and put one in front of his own seat as he took a seat.]
Anyways! That's also why this situation is great! I've got a second chance! A new lease here. So do you!
no subject
I was on a train, when I woke up in the church. The last train from the edge of the Far Shore to the heart of it. Had the ride lasted, I'd have lost my humanity.